a corner turned

Do you know that feeling when you wake up and things are just…different?

That kind of happened today.

You see, I think this last month has been a test and I almost failed (miserably) but somehow, this last week, I pulled myself right back up, drew lines for myself, and said ‘No way, man. I’m not going to let this set me back. I’m choosing differently this time’.

So today I feel like I’ve come out of the other side. And totally unscathed, too! But the coolest part is (the newest part), I can also feel that I’ve changed inside.

And for the better.

So, all that work and worry and some tears later, I’m a better person for all of that. And you can’t fault a lesson (no matter how hard it is) when all it was trying to do was make you a thousand times more kick-ass than you were before!

I’m in a really good place right now.

In the next few weeks I will be able to start saving some money.

I’m getting back into shape (which is long overdue and always makes me happy – that endorphins thing is a pretty powerful drug).

I’ve seriously got the best friends that anyone could ever have. I know everyone thinks that about their own friends but that’s because they haven’t met mine and don’t know any better!! I’ve had some of the best, most life changing, hysterical loving conversations with all these people over the last few weeks and I can’t thank any of them enough for always having my back and wanting me to smile all the time!

It’s about to be fall. My favorite season. You know what that means? Sweaters, and coffee, and hikes, and campfires, and Halloween!!, and The Big E, the local winery harvests, and bonfires, and long, long drives all over New England with the radio blasting and my best friends all around me, that cool, crisp feeling in the air which always signals change. God, I love the fall!!

I’ve given myself the next month and a half to finish revision on my novel and have conceded to the fact that I need to immediately finish the second novel I started writing this past spring.

I’ve got big plans to go to Texas to visit my baby sister and her fiancé (my boy JC) and we are going to rock the South for a whole week!

My stepdad Eric is going to take me skiing this year (which I’ve been dying to do since I was 16 years old) so I even have something to look forward to this winter when normally I’d just be waiting for Spring to come.

And in addition to all this… I know now more than ever how ready I am to have a relationship with someone. A real, honest relationship. You know how long it’s taken me to say that? You know how much I’ve fought that urge my entire adult life? It’s liberating to know that I’ve opened my heart right back up again and anything can come out of it this time…

Who knows, right?
Maybe this time next year, all my dreams will have come true!

It’s out there.
All of it.
Just waiting for me to keep moving forward and learning my lessons and becoming smarter and happier and (most importantly) to know my worth.

I get it now.

Anything is possible.
Anything.
This life is kind of awesome, isn’t it