TODAY.

this is how i'm feeling...

RIGHT NOW

THIS IS HOW MY LAST FEW WEEKS HAVE FELT.

oh, that restless feelin'

So, my roommate and I were recently talking about life and the strange paths we all weave to try to reach happiness and on so many levels I feel pretty successful at being content, but I have some doubts sometimes about whether or not I'm truly happy.

The weird part of the whole conversation was when in talking I stumbled upon the realization that when my life is in some form of chaos, I might be miserable but on some level, I'm comfortable. It feels safe in that place.

You see, things are stabilizing a bit for me. I've got a new place to live, a new job, relatively steady paychecks and

the last two weeks, oh so slowly, this feeling of dread has crept in. I'm getting stressed and restless and have started dreaming outside of myself again and I'm pretty sure it's because I'm getting back on my feet and it's the stability that freaks me out! How bizarre is that? I actually feel more 'stable' on shaky ground.

On the one hand, that quality always keeps me reaching for more which is a quality I don't want to let go of. One the other hand, it keeps me from being satisfied. It keeps me from appreciating the present moment. I want both. I want to keep reaching and still be happy right where I am. Is that even possible?

I may not be living all my dreams in this very moment but I wake up every day to the sights and sounds of the ocean. I have a room of my own filled with everything I love. I'm surrounded by the raddest, most talented, unique people who make me smile and think. When I make the lists, I wonder what I'm reaching for.

I guess, just....more.

Here it comes again.

Magic.

That magic feeling.

When nothing in the details matches the feeling that is going on inside.

When the world has a slight twinkle and glow for no good reason,

other than,

the fact that your gut,

your soul,

is telling you that magic is happening.

It's not just on the way.

It's here.

It is breath.

It is me.

I just have to keep my eyes wide open.

And believe.

And trust.

And somewhere in the in between spaces,

where all your feelings converge right inside the crux of your heart,

That's the place dreams are being made and suddenly brought to life.

Right. Before. Your. Eyes.

and so it goes...

...Summer is on it's way and with the warm, lovely weather comes the end of some of my favorite shows (for a few months at least).

Tonight, my favorite of them all - Supernatural - had it's (much shortened, damn you Writer's Strike) season come to an end and Mr. Eric Kripke ended the show in a MAJOR cliff hanger and it was, frankly, a little heartbreaking.

I will miss those Winchester's this summer and I'm a little worried about what the hell they are going to do to get out of this mess. You know a character is well written when it's honestly a painful thing to see them going through anything painful and The Winchesters are in the thick of it! Yikes.

Fantasy is fun.

I would join their crazy, dark ride any time!

Crushing.

So, i have developed a new Hollywood Crush.

Mr. Steve Carrell.

Seriously.

Love this man.

How lucky are we...

....that we get to live here?

Check out this video put out by the creators of The Secret franchise.