notes on "I love you"

Here is an article I found that seemed to maybe ‘find me’ today. I don’t know. Kind of made me feel better and a little hopeful at the same time.

Enjoy…
The Cosmopolitan: 'I love you' isn't enough
Leah Charpentier
9/19/06 - For some people, "I love you" is the divine signifier of a relationship proper, the endpoint of the "please say it" and the moment of truth. But as any seasoned romantic knows, "I love you" does not constitute permanency, it does not dignify the weird moments of silence, nor does it ensure a safe return. No, "I love you" is simply not enough.

A veteran of dating worth her salt will explain by telling you that to be "in" love is a far more desirable thing than to merely love. To be "in" love is what we need, what we require, what keeps us going, our meat and potatoes (or tofu and miso). To be "in" love requires a state of vulnerability so complex and unending, we must rediscover who we are in order to even have access to the place that allows us to feel so profoundly for another human being. When the reality and welfare of another becomes of such concern that it is a priority to be part of that person's happiness, you can say you are in love.

Regardless of some kitschy-framed sayings at Grandma's house, this state in being "in" is often selfish. It is as though one's person's love, joy and delight become of such a warmth and comfort to us that we find ourselves in the forest, where the cold and darkness prevent us from reaching our place of real love. Then there is a fire built before us, a warm and bright campfire, breathing heat into us and lighting our way.

This is no revelation. No, this is the real deal. In truth, you will do just about anything to even momentarily bask in that glow. We want this for three reasons. One, it makes us feel like a needed, contributing and helpful person. Two, people like to have a partner. (Think how boring the world would be without inside jokes, tables for two, or the thrill of genuine love-making.) Finally, and most important of all, the rush of crack, or adrenaline, or goosebumps, pure electricity, or magic or SOMETHING that pumps our heart and steeps our veins in brandy.

That seductive, sadistic, sucker-punch feeling of euphoria every time he wears that suit, makes that face or finishes your fries. Each and every occurrence where he calls as you are dialing, holds your hand during the sad parts of the movie and lets you eat all the broccoli.

When you are in love you are aware, dear reader, and this old sucker still believes that there is a way that things should be for happiness to make its way through. I won't tell you any garbage like "hope floats," but I can say that real love exists and sometimes "I love you" merely skims the surface.